How the BLEEP did that happen?! - Episode 15

[I recommend going in numerical order with the Episodes. They build on each other.]

Episode 30 contains the full resource list.


On Facebook and in a a few private messages, I’m still hearing:

"I still don’t get how people get involved in stuff like this... and why the hell do they stay?!”

This may take a number of blog posts to unravel but we need to look into personal relationships to try and decipher what may be going on. 

Very important note: I am not a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or Mental Health Expert. I only have my personal experience of my life. My qualifications are: Human. Film-maker. 

We’ve all heard of psychological abuse in a PERSONAL relationship with someone. For example.

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  • A Marriage.
  • A Romantic Relationship.
  • A Family Member.
  • A Co-Worker.
  • A Friend. 

Let's look at a relationship where one person is a 'Narcissist' and the other perhaps an 'Empath'.

First, what is the dictionary definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which there is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others' feelings. People affected by it often spend a lot of time thinking about achieving power or success, or about their appearance. They often take advantage of the people around them. The behavior typically begins by early adulthood, and occurs across a variety of situations.

Some people really struggle with understanding how someone they fall in love with, goes from showering them with 'LOVE'... to then being abusive.... or flip flopping between the two extremes.

When they finally ‘escape’ from the abuser they are flummoxed at how they could ever have been there in the first place. I have so many friends I have spoken to in the last few years (mostly women) that described the horror they went through with a partner who had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

If they begin reading pop psychology they see certain characteristics that finally make sense.

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They realize that perhaps the 'love of their life' has little or no empathy and is unable to see them as a whole person with actual valid feelings. (Although they pretended they did)

They realize at first they were showered with love, adoration, praise.... basically love-bombed.

They realize their 'perfect love' had an intellectual and perhaps obsessive understanding of all their weaknesses.

  • What they were most afraid of.
  • What they yearned for.
  • What their dreams were... etc.

As the 'relationship' progressed, all that information got used by the Narcissist. The 'Narcissist' may have set standards for them to reach which are virtually impossible and remind them constantly how they failed those standards. Because of this, the Empath feels a deep sense of inferiority, and in the end, their self-esteem gets trashed... and their identity worn down. 

As many people can attest to, the person under the influence of a 'Narcissist' is so desperate for a sliver of affection and praise, they keep coming back for more and more, becoming an emotional beggar. Those on the outside who see this say 'Good God, just leave the Jackass!' But it's not that easy. Your whole sense of value is now in the 'hands' of the Narcissist.

Here's a fascinating article by Amy Morin from Psychology Today that outlines: The 7 Things That Only Narcissists Will Do

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And what if the Empath speaks up? What if the empath challenges what the Narcissist says? As a U.S. President once said.... it will be a campaign of 'Shock and Awe'. The Narcissist will employ all kinds of subtle and devastating strategies. Many were outlined in Episode 2.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/

The Narcissist will turn themselves into a victim, citing some terrible thing the empath has supposedly done until the Empath feels demoralized and convinced they MUST be awful and have to spend the rest of their life making up for it. It is the ultimate MIND FUCK and the Narcissist has not a twinge of guilt about the assault on the Empaths psyche.

Perhaps you've experienced this in a relationship?

 

Next.... upscaling from personal to groups.

To be continued...

Mark Vicente ©2017